A change of heart after one day of tutoring

I am currently taking a class called math tutoring. I go to the Jr. High once a week and tutor in two different math classes. What is unique about these classes are that most of these students struggle. They have failed a math class, struggled with math, etc. and probably don't want to be there. I don't know any specific disabilities or special needs these students have, but I am sure there is some ADHD and learning disabilities in there.

My first day of class I had students yelling, tipping chairs, and even a book (accidentally) thrown at the wall putting a dent in it. I felt like I was on a movie titled "9th Grade Class Clown." But you know what? I fell in love with that class. I fell in love with the obnoxious kid who couldn't sit still and called the teacher "teach" every few minutes with a sucker in his mouth. I fell in love with the loud kid who wouldn't stay seated in his wheelchair and gave me a few heart attacks when he almost tipped himself over. I fell in love with the student who didn't want to do his work but would do 5 problems just to hear "something exciting" like what boy I went to school with that played for the Oregon Ducks.
This was the "worst" class I had ever stepped foot into, but they stole my heart completely.

Background: I have always done ok in school. I never had any serious struggles and I was technically a "talented and gifted" student. That title never did much or helped me reach my full potential and as a college student I have had moments of bitterness because of it. As a TAG student myself, and as an aunt to a baby genius, I am VERY concerned about the talented and gifted children. I never took a special interest in the *academic side of students with special needs because I didn't have any personal connection. As I read this week I even felt a little anger that it seems almost every kind of disability qualifies for special education by law, but gifted students were lucky if their school/district happened to make it a priority because they don't HAVE TO. The low level learners got so much attention and made such huge improvements, I think I was jealous.

But my heart has changed. That crazy class of Junior High kids has changed my heart. What if they had more help in elementary school, would they be so behind now? If I don't help them now, will they "slide through" another math class and never really learn? Do thy have problems I don't even know about? Are things rough at home? Could we be helping them more? SHOULD we be helping them more, by law?

Suddenly I care so much about these students that I felt disdain towards before. I am beginning to understand the passion people have for special education.





*I did put on a regional special needs dance 3 years in a row in high school. But I was more worried about them having fun, feeling loved, and being accepted than I was about them learning anything academic.